Knowing is Half the Battle!

Well silly me i figured once they knew what i had that the modern miracle of drugs would fix me right up!  Boy was I wrong,   things were anything but easy once i was diagnosed with Graves disease.  When i was diagnosed my resting heart rate was around 80 bpm and the Propranolol they gave me didn't work well at first!  They had to keep upping my dosage to get my heart rate to come down even close to a normal range.

Then it was the anti-hyperthyroid medication that was suppose to make me feel normal! HA, anything but!  Sure i put on some weight but i still had no energy so it was just fat and no muscle.  My self-esteem was at an all time low and depression was kicking in pretty bad.  I just wanted to lay in bed all day, and do nothing.  It was like living in a nightmare, I couldn't function in anyway.  I could play with my beautiful daughter i couldn't work and the doctors kept telling me i was getting better and I would be as good as new, soon.

I was desperate to feel even half way close to how I felt before i was sick.  I was trying every supplement and vitamin known to man and nothing made even a small bit of difference.  I could only think "is this what the rest of my life will be like"?

I went to a natural-path doctor who said he cured people with Graves disease in the past only using natural herbs.  Long story short after six weeks under his treatment I was almost as sick again as I was before I knew what was wrong with me.

I continued on like this for over 18 months, not sure how I did looking back.  It was time for the next step.  thyroidectomy or radioactive-iodine.  Neither i wanted to have done.

Doctors Doctors Doctors!!!

Well I finally maned up and decided to go to the doctors to hear what I figured to be was that I had cancer or something!  I wish they would have just told me I had cancer when they were done with me!  I went to four different doctors and none of them could figure out what was wrong with me.

It was like they all hoped I had some crazy disease so they could write a paper about it and get published or something.  It was not only very frustrating that no one seemed to be able to help, but  they scared the crap out of me every-time they came up with a crazy new disease.

It wasn't so bad at first hearing doctors say it must be some kind of rare cancer,  my pituitary gland was not working right, of course they had to throw in the HIV scare.

The worst disease they labeled me with was Marfan syndrome.  Marfans is a disease that makes you go crazy and your body doesn't produce a protein that strengthens your aorta wall.  So one day your aorta explodes in your chest and your dead before anyone knows what is going on.  Fun right? No not really, I lived for three months not knowing if I would even wake up, or if I was walking and I would just drop dead.

I made one last doctor appointment to see if anyone can truly find out what is wrong with me.  The physician assistant walks in takes one look at me and says you have Graves disease! I am like what the hell are you talking about!  The PA asked me if I noticed the big lump in my throat where my adams apple use to be.  I had not paid attention and he made me look in the mirror and swallow.  I had a large goiter and once he pointed it out, I freaked!

I thought the Alien was going to come out of my throat! The PA settled me down and explained what was going on with my body and some of the things I could expect to go through.  He talked about Radioactive Iodine right away and I was like lets hold off on that.  I didn't like the idea of ingesting radiation, call me crazy.

I really did feel better knowing what was making me sick.

Getting sick fast!

Looking back i still cant believe how fast I went from an elite athlete training to race in triathlons then to a very sick and scared person.

It took no more than a few months for me to go from 217 pounds to 145 pounds with no explanation.  I couldn't sleep i didn't want to eat my hands would shake very bad all the time.  I was moody irritable my joints hurt and I had massive headaches all the time.  There would be nights I would wake up with sweats and it was like someone dumped a bucket of water on me.

I was freaked out and figured i was dying.  i didn't want to go to the doctor because i knew he would just tell me i was really sick and there was nothing they could do.  I figured i had cancer or something.  I was to the point I thought I would just go to sleep at some point and never wake up.

I finally went to the doctor and at first they made things worse, much worse.

Life before Graves Disease

Well my life was pretty much like everyone else's before I got Graves Disease.  That is kind of funny to say it like that like I "got" Graves Disease from someone else like a cold or something.  When it seems to still be a mystery how one gets the disease, not sure it would make me feel any better if someone could tell me if  I would have eaten more cheese or something i wouldn't have gotten the disease.

So any way i was married and had an amazing 3 year old daughter.  I was working and racing in triathlons, and i was very competitive.  I was racing at such a high level I believed i had a shot at racing pro. I kept daily logs of my work outs and tracked everything a person could track about themselves.

I kept track of all workouts, how i felt, what I ate, how much i slept each night.  I believe if you what to be truly successful you need to do everything in your power to give you the best shot at being the best. I micro managed every aspect of my training and my life when i raced and i truly loved it.

In the end it was my detailed records that clued me into something was wrong with me.  I remember training with a tri-club and we were doing track intervals.  We were running 800 meters and then recover for 400 meters.  The problem was my heart rate was not dropping to a recovery level, and would stay elevated no matter how slow i jogged my recovery lap. So looking back this was a sign.

I started to become more and more irritable and couldn't sleep and just started to feel tired all of the time.  I was supper tired yet couldn't sleep so i began to feel zombie like walking around.  It was the end of the season and i was just trying to fight to finish up a few workouts and then i could take a few months off, which is all I thought i needed.

I was starting to lose a little weight and just thought it was my diet, I didn't think to much of it.  I knew something was wrong with me when i would go out for runs and i would start to have trouble with needing to go #2 while on my runs.  Granted some runs were 13 miles but i had never had a problem like this in the past.

My stomach would cramp and I would feel like i couldn't hold it.  There was more than I time i had to make a dash for the bushes.  I felt scared and humiliated and the last thing i wanted to do was talk about what was going on with anyone.  I guess it would make it real if i talked about it and i was still telling myself that i was just training to hard.  After I was in  about the best shape a person could ever be in and there was no way i could be sick, was there....

Well as i would soon find out, something more than over training was my problem and it would not find a fast or easy solution.

1st blog

Hi everyone.

 I have been encouraged for some time to blog about my experiences with Graves Disease.  I have never really given it a lot of thought because I have spent so much time trying to feel "NORMAL" that i just didnt want to sit down and talk about my experiences.  I dont know what made me sit down to start this blog but I am here now.

First I would like to say I am not a doctor and you should always check with your doctor first about anything having to do with your medical condition.

I am going to speak about what I have been through and the things I have done in order to survive this disease.  Yes i said survive Graves disease has try to take my life at least four times either directly or indirectly and I will talk about that as well.  I am not going to water down my thoughts or feelings I believe it is best if I keep this as real as possible.  I know there are many people out there that have Graves Disease and they feel like they are fighting a war with their own body that no one else can understand.

I think I would have liked to find another person to talk to about being sick if I could have found them.  I hope that my words and experiences will help at least one person who reads this post, help them know they are not alone and many people have experienced the same things they have.

I have experienced just about everything that goes along with Graves disease.  The ups and downs the thyroidectomy, the medications, family problems, depression, serious eye problems.  I have fought long and hard to get back to the old me and i still have a ways to go and maybe expressing my feelings on this post will help heal some of the wounds.

I am a very positive person and a fighter and I dont accept less than 100% from myself and when this disease made me so debilitated for so long it was one of the worst feelings ever.

I am going to try and post everyday for the next week or so.  I am going to start back when i was healthy and racing in triathlons and then I became sick.

thanks for reading.